The Best Possible Alliance

Ontology

The ontology of friending reality goes something like this: 1) There’s no alternative to reality, 2) therefore existence is inestimably precious, so 3) happiness should be the default state upon finding that one exists.

Our thinking is founded on a subtly obvious first principle: Reality, in the form of how the world works, and how it could only work for there to be something called ‘reality’, would have us be happy simply because it’s a better state of being than unhappiness. If something hurts, we’re supposed to avoid it — and pain is very informative about how the world works. So everything that happens or could happen is advising us: go the way of non-suffering. Reality is our existential teacher, and we’re learning that the more fondness we have for reality and the deeper our acquaintance with it, the more reciprocal fondness we experience in the form of all things good.

In this way we are happier, not just psychophysiologically, but in our very being.

We also recognize another real-world first principal: Localized happiness can’t be sustained in an unhappy world. So the more persons adopting a positive ontology, and thereby the more existential goodwill we learn and earn in the aggregate, the more emergent happiness will be as a human condition. Thus we hope to further the friending of reality and make human existence more enjoyable, fulfilling, and likely more enduring than it would be otherwise.

Motto

Don’t fight with the world — learn from it.

Goal

Reality affirmed!

Membership requirement

A good attitude.

or

A willingness to improve one’s attitude.

or

Even the smallest amount of gratitude for having an attitude no matter how bad it is.

Mantra

reality is good

(Repeat as necessary until it becomes self-evident.)

reality:  actuality; the way things are; the experienceable world; the context of existence; the state of being that every conscious human instinctively recognizes:  it’s time we face reality; in reality things aren’t so dire as we think; here’s what’s really going on

meta-reality:  ideation about reality; the mind’s world; the cognitive representation of reality that we form and carry around in our heads that doesn’t necessarily match reality:  reality is what it is, so isn’t it just meta-reality that we’re arguing about?; well that may be your meta-reality, but it’s not mine; counterfactuals and rumination are but two of meta-reality’s treacherous allures

intelligence:  the cognitive capacity to let reality inform meta-reality:  it’s never been a mark of intelligence to count on the fantastical; even the smartest people sometimes demonstrate a lack of intelligence

stupidity:  the failure or unwillingness to let reality inform meta-reality:  certain posthumous awards are given for such stupidity; “d’oh” — one’s own stupidity suddenly recognized

enlightenment:  the cognitive state of having let reality inform meta-reality:  wow! — that’s how things work? enlightenment sure feels good!

joy:  the psychophysiological state of being in love with what’s happening, one’s meta-reality of little relevance;  words could never measure the joy of first holding my newborn child

Tips on how to be reality’s friend

• Appreciate reality (while it approves of your existence).
• Understand reality (with the heart and brain it gave you to do it).
• Only criticize reality if you like being unhappy. 
• Only argue with reality if you like being wrong.
• Don’t ignore reality if you expect any favors from it.
• Don’t be possessive. Reality is intensely faithful to everything.
• It’s pointless to lie to reality. It always knows precisely what you’re up to.
• And hence fear of reality makes for the worst sort of paranoia.
• And don’t try cheating on reality. It’ll move out sooner than you expect, having maybe not the best memories of you.
• Trust reality. It can share nothing other than the absolute truth or unambiguously actionable advice.
• When having any thoughts of reality, remember to think “thank you!” and give it a mental hug.
• Above all treat reality as if it’s the best thing that ever happened to you. It’ll love you for it in every way that it can.

Advanced tips

• Admit that reality has a happiness bias. You already know what it’s like to believe the contrary.
• Remember that it’s reality, not meta-reality, that we want to know better. So try to make the reality/meta-reality distinction: keeping in mind that reality is the sole basis for what you think the world is and how it works. (see Meta-things)
• Try to make the person/mind distinction: you are a person experiencing a mind, so try not to let it use your brain unsupervised — or totally convince you that it is you. (see The Person’s Mind Problem)
• Grok with suffering. It’s an excellent teacher so long as we need — and heed — the lessons. (see Reluctant Suffering)
• Recognize that personal virtue, happiness, well-being, and enlightenment are far more easily achieved collectively than individually. (see Spacetime Mutuality)

Emergency tip

• If you find yourself in serious psychophysiological distress; convinced in thought and emotion that reality is a terrible place to exist and life isn’t worth the trouble; as soon as you possibly can, do a kindness. Make existence less troublesome for a life other than your own. Your kindness, even a small one, will have improved all of reality by just that much — proof that your existence is most valuable in the furtherance of love.

Note to hopeful member

Only a person, not a mind, will befriend reality. The mind, cognitive autocrat that it tends to be, won’t affiliate with what it views as ungovernable; with what it sees as a rival for one’s attention, affections, and loyalty. “Stick with me” says the mind “reality is dangerous and untrustworthy!” A person though might shush the mind enough to intuit, wait… friending reality might actually be a good idea! — which reality promptly affirms in the form of good humor. Then the mind may admit “Okay maybe reality isn’t so bad after all.”